This ain't the Rapture, baby!
Thursday, 19th March 2020
What’s more contagious: Covid-19 or fear? When you see
the supermarket shelves, it seems fear is spreading faster than coronavirus.
Americans buying guns to ‘defend their families’ is perhaps more frightening
than the actual infection. If people are this jumpy – at this stage – then what
will it take to pull the trigger? If I was a postman, I would be feeling a little
nervous. If I was a black postman, I would be wearing body armour.
Social meltdown can be avoided if we choose to look after
the most vulnerable rather than pull up the drawbridge. As usual, the poor are
going to suffer the most. It doesn’t take long for one’s circumstances to spiral
downwards: loss of job; loss of income; eating less and eating cheaply; health
deterioration (mental and physical); stress/depression/domestic violence/abuse/homelessness;
death. If benefits are withheld; if opportunities for exercise and
socialisation are severely reduced; if the rich and privileged are seen to be
above the crisis, then expect riots. We’re going to see, in some parts of the
world, how strong the social ties are, and what it takes to break them apart.
Someone (probably a person of colour), somewhere (a poor country), is going to
get shot by the army as they run out of the store across the broken shopfront
glass, clutching a pack of nappies, some paracetamol and a frozen chicken.
I am wondering, today, who is viewing the pandemic as
a message from God? You can stake your secret cache of loo roll that there are
a whole lotta religious groups out there, right now, who think this is the end
times and they, alone, will be saved. And to them, I say: fuck you, and your
righteous, stick-up-your-arse morality. A lot of Jehovah Witnesses (who do not accept
medical treatment of any kind) are going to be finding out real soon what, if anything,
is on the other side. Good luck, guys.
And yesterday, in Florida, an evangelical pastor told
the media that he would not be shutting his church and that other ministries
that did so ‘were pansies.’ He said that his church would heal and save people
and he would be encouraging his congregation to hug, in defiance of health
warnings. So, when this thing blows past, the world may be a little thinned out
of those who put their faith in miracles instead of science. Again, good luck,
Florida evangelists. Say hello to the Witnesses when you get there…
This ain’t the Rapture. This is a man-made disaster
which, if you want to get Gaia theory, is nature’s way of fighting back: ‘Yeah,
you can drill my seabed for oil, cut down my rainforests, melt my glaciers but
my gift to you is a pathogen for all mankind.’ Eating monkeys in Gabon gave us
Ebola. Eating pangolins in China now gives us Covid-19.
So, yeah vegans, it really is your time in the
spotlight. It seems unlikely that a toxic respiratory disease is going to jump
out of your beetroot and falafel salad. So smug it up, all you bean-eaters. Barefoot,
beansprout, beard-y, bell bottom wearing children of the world: this is your
moment…
Oh, and in these times of crisis, it’s good to hear
from a billionaire who is still wearing her gold Christmas hat: the Queen. As
she self-isolates with her crew of slaves in her country mansion, our royal highness
assures us that the royal family ‘stand ready to play our part.’ Anyone for a
corgi burger?
Latest data for the
UK
Infected: 2,692
Deaths: 144
Celebrity Deaths: None (Idris Elba has it but he’s hard as fuck and the
coronavirus left his body as soon as it knew its host was Stringer Bell)
People I know who are
infected: 0
People I know who
have died: 0
Song for the day: ‘Better Tomorrow’ – Wu-Han Clan (sorry, that should
read Wu-Tang Clan)
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