Hey, Musk, hand over the submersibles!

Wednesday, 18^th March 2020

Things are changing so quickly, including people’s mood. An all-pervading anxiety seems to hang in the air everywhere you go. From empty pubs to empty shelves, the signs are hard to ignore.

Maybe this is the worst bit. Not although I know from experience, but it feels like being under siege with the invading army at the city gates. You know they’ve arrived; you know the missiles are going to start whistling through the air; you know that when it’s over, the landscape will have changed and some people that you knew, you will never see again.

For now, though, there’s just no toilet paper.

I went in to the school where I work today, as part of my phased return. The plan was for me to have non-contact time and address my subject leadership responsibilities but I knew that there would be a shortage of teachers and teaching assistants so offered, on my arrival, to go where I was needed, which was a Year 6 class whose teacher was absent.

In a class of 29, there were 19 children present. This was the pattern across the school: about a third of the pupils absent. The local secondary is now shut and there is an end-of-term feel about the school. The children know schools will almost certainly shut and so they are quite relaxed, knowing they will soon have an unexpected break from their learning. For a handful, being at home, however, will be difficult because of their family situations and they will miss the routine of a school day and seeing their friends. If the schools shut for months, then there will be more families with children at risk, especially if parents become unemployed, they’re struggling for money, and there are very few opportunities for social and sporting activities.

Yesterday, I was worried about prostitutes but today I’m thinking about another group of workers who might struggle in the next few months: burglars. If everyone’s at home all the time, how are the breaking-and-entry community going to survive? Even shoplifting is going to become difficult if the shops are shut or the shelves are empty. Maybe the better off could leave electronic items of a smaller value on the doorstep…? An old iPod, unused phone, CD player, or an envelope with hard cash inside and a smiley face on the front (art opportunity for your bored five-year-old?).

A final thought: if things are really starting to go tits up, then maybe now is the time to message Elon Musk.

‘Hey buddy, I don’t suppose you have a spare submarine lying around…?’

Latest data for the UK (as of 6pm):

Infected: 2,626

Deaths: 104

Celebrity Deaths: None (but footballer, Zlatan Ibrahimovich has boldly declared today that: ‘If the virus don’t go to Zlatan, Zlatan goes to the virus!’ which sounds like the opposite of self-isolation to me and so watch this space…)

People I know who are infected: 0

People I know who have died: 0

Song for the day: ‘School’s Out’ –Alice Cooper